"To attract" is an active, effortful, even exhausting verb

An excerpt from George Bernard Shaw's play "Man and Superman"

"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. [...]I want to be thouroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

(As read in "Learning To Lead" by Warren Bennis, emphasis mine).

Sometimes a reality check helps to put the ego back in its place

One of the blogs that I follow is "Cosmic Connie's Whirled Musings", which comments on trends in the self-help/New Age industry. Lately she has been focusing on the phenomenon of The Secret, especially its (many) not-so-holy aspects.

In her latest blog post "Is the word coaching or ka-ching?" she opens with the following:

"In the months since The Secret exploded like Monty Python’s unfortunate Mr. Creosote all over the cultural landscape, dousing everyone and everything within spewing range with its simplistic New-Wage wisdom about the Law Of Attraction, I have been receiving more than my share of spam emails from people claiming to be Law Of Attraction Coaches. Law Of Attraction coaching, of course, is merely one of the latest outgrowths of the burgeoning personal-coaching industry. And whether or not they use LOA as a hook, personal coaches, or "life coaches" as they more often call themselves these days, are swarming all over the place, with one of the largest breeding grounds being the famous Coach U. We are now faced with a veritable infestation for which, alas, no coach sprays or coach hotels exist.[...]"

I highly recommend that you read the whole post here.

And I happen to agree with a lot of what she says about the sorry state of the coaching industry today. So I just had to respond. Here is the full comment that I submitted to her blog:

"Hi Connie
Great post! And this coming from a full-time coach and consultant who trained with Thomas Leonard and Coach U back in 2000, and loved the experience!

I've been following your blog, and that of Steve [Salerno]'s, since seeing "The Secret" last fall. I was both encouraged and disturbed by the messages in the movie and now the book, so your comments are helping me to steer a middle course through the "new-wage" minefield.

Right now, the state of the coaching industry is not healthy because of what you and Steve and others are pointing out: a lack of accountability, measurability and professionalism. The example of the "intuitive life-coach" you describe in your post is a perfect example of the problem. Coaching schools fail to equip their students with a personal foundation of discipline and structure. And I'm not convinced that the ICF (International Coach Federation) certification system can put accountability back into the industry (I am an ICF member). I myself would not hire most of the coaches I meet.

I'm also very disappointed in many of the Secret teachers, and their overt hucksterism since the DVD - especially Bob Proctor and the "Secret of Science of Getting Rich" CD set at $2k. That offer really destroyed my respect for him.

I'm part of a network of coaches who want to put accountability back into the profession (www.coachville.com). Being an aerospace systems engineer and project manager in my pre-coaching life, I want to see practical, tangible results from my clients, and provide a practical, tangible system for doing so. I basically teach fundamental project planning skills, applied to life and business.

In the LOA (Law of Attraction) area, I provide workshops and coaching for people who want to apply LOA to their business or life projects, stripping away all of the cosmic mumbo-jumbo and getting to the core: know who you are and what you want, align your environment to promote positive thinking and belief, then take deliberate, bold and consistent action to make it happen. Accountability is created by measuring the actions and measuring the results. It's simple, but not easy, because most people don't want to change or sweat (thus the "lottery mentality" promoted by The Secret).

I tell all my prospects that of course you can make it happen on your own. What I add is an accountability system (I like the "consigliere" description you mentioned) to make sure my clients do what they say they want to do, with the bonus of providing tools and tips from my own experience since I've been there, done that. I spend a lot of my time and energy to connect my clients with the resources the need, and to help them develop the skills to succeed. I make sure I more than earn my fees by giving my all to my clients.

Reading your posts reminds me to stay real, focused on giving value for money, and delivering results. Keep up the good work, and keep on keeping me honest!

Sometimes a reality check like the one Cosmic Connie delivered is just what the doctor ordered to put my ego back into its proper place...

The Law of Traction: Act, Believe, Receive

The Coach's Thought of the Week:

"A dream is a just a wish to someday change the present. Add commitment, and the dream becomes a vision that challenges the status-quo. However, to accelerate this vision towards a new reality, you must overpower the inertia of the comfort zone through bold, massive action."

-Coach Davender

An article in the March 18 Toronto Star about "The Secret" phenomenon is subtitled "Ask, believe, receive... or not". However, in the first version that I saw early that morning, the subtitle was "ACT, Believe, Receive... or not". (capitals mine - I still have the PDF of that version...)

How apropos... Although I truly respect "The Secret" for getting people talking about how thoughts influence results, my main beef with all of this is that people seem to get the wrong impression about The Law of Attraction, which is summed up in the DVD through the three words "Ask, believe, receive". This mantra makes me think of the universe as some kind of cosmic ATM, where just by wishing, what you want just pops out of the slot...

Every Sunday, I go for a long run, and this morning the Star article's original subtitle was whirling around in my head, as I realized how spot on it was. Instead of the "Law of Attraction", I decided to call this the "Law of Traction". Here's what popped into my head during this long run...

The "Law of Traction" describes how to power your Vision from the potential of Passion to the results of Profit. Passion is the energy of the possible, and Profit a positive change, intagible or tangible, which benefits all stakeholders.

The Law of Traction focuses on taking proactive action, on coactively creating results, on making things happen. Traction is about motion, motion that generates the energy to overcome the inertia of the status-quo and create a new reality.

The Law of Traction has three steps:

• ACT - Take Massive Action Without Permission.
• BELIEVE - Adopt an attitude of "Glorious Obsession".
• RECEIVE - Accept whatever happens, good or bad, negative or positive, with gratitude and humility, and learn from it to act anew.

ACT - Getting what you want takes action. Why does it seem that so many are waiting for "permission to change", waiting for the right time, the right circumstances, for something else to finish, to begin, for someone to say "go"...

A dream is a just a wish to someday change the present. Add commitment, and the dream becomes a vision that challenges the status-quo. However, to accelerate this vision towards a new reality, you must overpower the inertia of the comfort zone through bold, massive action.

To me, this is the missing link in "The Law of Attraction" - the need to be in action. "The Secret" says "Thoughts are things"... To me, the truth is "Things are thoughts plus action". Nothing can happen if you are not in action.

You have to be in movement to see the opportunities around you. Just like you can see through a stand of trees or a fence while speeding down the highway, but if you stop, all you see are trees or the fence. (for safety's sake, only try this as a passenger, please!).

At first, all of the action you invest in your vision will seem like it's doing nothing. I call this the "Fred Flintstone" effect - remember how he gets his car going (the feet windmilling on and on, boobityboobityboop, then all of a sudden "whoosh" the car shoots forward). That's why action has to be Massive, to overcome the inertia of the comfort zone.

To create, you've got to act without waiting for permission. As a solopreneur, you are your own boss, so who are you waiting for to give you permission to get started?

So to put the Law of Traction into motion, you've got to first Take Massive Action Without Permission.

BELIEVE - Even the producer of "The Secret", Rhonda Byrne, didn't just sit by and daydream about success. She took massive action, betting her production company on the movie, and seizing every opportunity to spread the message of her film. You don't "just get" on Oprah... twice. You have to contact the right people, following up, "selling" your idea, following the "three foot rule" (talk about your vision to everyone who comes within three feet of you). What do you think she thinks or talks about all day? I bet it's about how to move her vision to the next level...

Believing is becoming "gloriously obsessed" about what you want to create, "obsession" in the sense of focusing all your thoughts and energies in one direction, and "glorious" meaning a direction that celebrates Who You Really Are, in the direction of your Mission, Vision and Permission.

You've got to eat, sleep, think, dream, talk, question, harangue, needle, infuse, ignite and excite everyone around you with your vision. You've got to be the beacon, the projector for your vision, so much so that it's got to get other people vibrating to your beat, too.

After all, if you're not the one who's most enthusiastic about your vision, who else can be your champion?

RECEIVE - Think about this one carefully... Do you really want what you say you want? To me this is another key failing of "The Law of Attraction" as described in "The Secret". If I receive everything I ask for, not only would life be quite boring, but would I not be shortchanging myself because I would be only exploring a fraction of my potential?

There is an unsaid truism in project management, that if the project comes in on budget, on schedule and on specification, that means that the project is probably not what was needed nor wanted in the first place. Truly great projects that change the world (think Panama Canal, or the James Bay Hydroelectric Projects in Quebec or whatever megaproject that comes to mind), they all flirt with the edge of the impossible, challenging the way things are now, to create a new reality with unforeseen consequences, sometimes good, sometimes not so good, but always placing us in a new situation that allows us to explore a new part of our humanity. Does this mean global climate change is good? Well, I see it as a grand opportunity to flex our collective creativity!

Most visions start with an insatisfaction with the present, and therefore are only projections onto the future of what we want (or don't want). The paradox of vision or goal setting is that although I need a strong vision or goal to get started, I must be willing to let go of it mid-stream to reach for a new goal or vision that's beyond what I originally wanted.

I remember in January 1994, when I was an officer in the Canadian Air Force, I had just finished meeting with my career manager, mapping out my next five years in the service and planning for a move to a staff job in Ottawa. So I had at that time a clear vision of what I wanted. Six months later, I had turned in my uniform and moved to a new life in Calgary. How could I have planned that the 1994 federal budget would mandate a 30% downsizing of the armed forces? Or, in May 2004, I visited my mother in Quebec City during a conference there, the first time in four years that I had come back home from Calgary. How could I have planned that seven months later I would be leaving Calgary (where I had thought I would be spending the rest of my life), and starting a new chapter of my life in Quebec City?

I can think of all kinds of other unforeseen turns and twists that led me to meet new people, live new experiences, discover new parts of my being.

So this is why I say it is important to learn to receive the bad with the good, always with humility and gratitude. Because there is something for me to experience in every moment. And it is through the unforeseeable that I can leap out of my comfort zone and expand my reality.

If life always turns out the way I plan, then life would be really boring. The juice of life is always in the unexpected. To live fully is to learn how to dance with uncertainty.

To sum up, instead of the "Law of Attraction" that to me is too passive, I prefer to live through the Law of Traction: to ACT, to BELIEVE and to RECEIVE. Traction begets motion, and it takes motion to generate the energy that overcomes the inertia of the present and power me towards a new future.

Another way of looking at The Law of Traction is through the words of that immortal philosopher Mick Jagger:

"You can't always get what you want,
And if you try sometimes, well you just might find...
You get what you need!"

Note: See also my past posts on "The Secret" here and here

Sorry to break it to you, but "Manifesting" is really hard work.

You may have heard about the DVD "The Secret" that was recently featured on Larry King Live (here) and Oprah (here and here).

It is an introduction to the concepts of the "Law of Attraction". What I like about it, is that it is opening up dialogue on topics like attraction, possibility, passion, and even spirituality at work and in business.

At the core of the message are the three steps to "manifesting" what you want:

1. Ask - Know what you want, specifically and precisely. The universe can't deliver without first knowing what it is that you want manifested into your life.

2. Believe - You need to truly believe that what you are asking for will become yours. Belief sets up the energy patterns that broadcast to the Universe what you want to attract. Doubts need to be pushed away so as to not distort the "signal".

3. Receive - Become an active player in reaching your goals. When opportunity comes your way, don't hesitate to grab it.

Hmm... A simple and attractive way of describing attraction. The concept of attraction itself is attractive, because it triggers images of being a magnet and having things/stuff/results come towards you of their own volition. However, when I hear people discussing the three steps, I get the sense that it is (mis)interpreted in a way that is too passive. That by simply "willing" something, you can "manifest" it into being. "Your wish is my command"...

Is it that people are interpreting the law of attraction to be more like "winning the cosmic lottery"?

This is why I think there is one "step" missing between "Believe" and "Receive":

WORK

Attraction is simple, yes. However, it is not easy, it requires a lot of hard work and a willingness to change oneself and one's environment.

Let me be clear, I really like the movie and its message. And when I see the part about the Three Steps to Manifesting, I see a deeper pattern to make attraction come alive. To me, Attraction requires a very proactive, co-creative, directed and deliberate effort. Here is my take on the Three Concepts (à la Coach Davender):


(THE SECRET STEP #1: ASK)

1- Imagination: Create an environment where possibility can flourish

The mind is a powerful tool, with the ability to simultaneously open up possibilities while putting up barriers to these possibilities. So to encourage imagination, I need to create an environment around me that encourages me to dream. Therefore I need to clear my mental environment of any messages that prevent me from being in a positive energy (advertising, propaganda, news media, whining, complaining, dramas, TV, etc...), and tune into ideas and thoughts that are constructive. This is called cleaning up my "memetic environment".

2- Visualization: Experiencing the emotion of a new possibility

Visualization is the process of experiencing a situation without physically being in it. Because all decisions take root in emotion, I have to experience the emotion in order to start believing in it. Daydreaming, visualizing, writing, brainstorming, all are part of the visualization process.

(THE SECRET STEP #2:) BELIEVE

3- Clarification: Defining the future that I choose to create
Now comes the stage of transforming the conceptual into the physical by first defining it and committing to it, using "Coach Davender's modified SMART" method:

• Specific - Describing the end result as something tangible
• Measurable - Translate the end result into measurable actions
  
• Audacious - Doing these actions creates an end result that is just slightly beyond the edges of my comfort zone, that changes my present status-quo into a more desirable situation
  
• Real - In alignment with my mission, vision, values
• Timelined - A specific time structure (timelines, milestones, heartbeats)

4- Simulation: Modeling the experience
Gradually putting yourself in the experience - giving yourself a taste of the experience as you move forward, to prepare yourself to being open to the result you want. This includes meeting and talking to people who are currently experiencing what you want, or of course, creating vision boards, or going out to see, feel, etc what you want... Simulation also feeds back to step 1 - Imagination, by reinforcing all these steps

(THE SECRET STEP #3:) RECEIVE

5 - Execution: Moving into action to trigger the new desired experience
Daily actions, measured and tracked. Start small and when you gain confidence, make bigger and bolder actions.

6- Realisation: Recognizing that new possibilities have become a new reality
Recognizing what you have created. Feeding back into the imagination to create the next cycle. Acknowledgement and gratitude

Success is not a result, the prize you get by "winning the quantum lottery". I define Success as the process of creating an experience that expresses all of Who You Really Are.

If Success is a process, then to manifest takes courage, guts and effort, "blood, sweat and tears". It is the struggle that shapes and defines us, this effort that tempers the steel of our resolve to create a hard edge that cuts through any obstacle.

Manifesting is really, really, really hard work. Overnight successes take years of unyielding focus and effort. The message that I hear from "The Secret" is to unswervingly believe in your dreams and to take bold, consistent action to make them come alive.

Those of us the believe in "The Secret" (and yes, I do like the movie and its message), need to make sure that the popular view of Law of Attraction does not become a "winning the lottery" mentality. Positive thinking is not enouch to make you rich. It is POSITIVE ACTION that enables you to make the leap from Passion to Profit.

Hey Coach... do you mean I have to sweat to create what I want? The short answer: Yes. A lot. This attitude may not make me popular or sell a lot of DVDs, but in my humble opinion, it is The TRUE Secret to creating the future you really want.